Course Content
Section 2 – The Family Factor
The FAMILY FACTOR
Hi friends, and welcome to the second section of this course. Now In this section, I’m going to highlight how our family life can affect our professional career. We all agree that family comes first, and there are no compromises on that front. I’m am not saying that caring for your family is wrong. What is wrong is that in the bargain to care for them, you are giving up on something that can take you further in your life. This leads us to the first question of this section
Can family be the main reason for an unsuccessful career?
In many ways, I can say that our family can be one of the contributing factors to our career choices. I have known so many people who have the potential to do a lot more. However, because of peer pressure, they take a step back from chasing their dreams.
In many cases, we all know that children are often forced to get into fields or careers that they do not like. The norms and beliefs of society become more important than the child’s wishes and abilities. I still remember how my neighbors would guide my parents about what career I should take up and so on.
Thankfully, I had the support of my family, who let me do whatever I felt was right. I had the opportunity to fulfil my duties as a son as well as chase my dream. But not everybody gets lucky, and not everybody will get that kind of support from their family.
In such cases, what should we do and how do we make our parents understand our point of view? Sometimes it becomes difficult to communicate with our parents and make them know. I understand that our parents have a set thinking and look out for our well-being. However, the era in which we live is very different.
So how can we do a work around on this front?
As the saying goes, action speaks louder than words. No doubt, you may have to work really hard to prove that your dreams are equally fruitful. Take out time to chase your dreams even if you are in the midst of fulfilling your responsibilities.
I have seen many people who break all the boundaries and barriers that keep them from following their dreams. They have worked day and night and have accomplished their goals. Let me narrate a small and true story.
There was a girl who started working when she was four years old. Every morning she and her mom would wake up at 5 AM and distribute newspapers. After the morning chore, she would come back and get ready for school. Once she finished school, she would go home and wash her uniform and get it ready for the next day.
Since they didn’t have electricity in their house, she and her brother would study under the street light’s lamppost. Eventually, she finished school and got into college. When she was in college, she would teach students who were in school. Her fees was not money; instead, it was food. For example, if she would teach a student early in the morning, her fees was a cup of tea and some bread. During lunchtime, it would be some Indian flatbread (roti) and veggies. During the evenings, it was tea and snacks. She would then set off to an evening college where she would teach adults who were elder to her.
She never had the money for books; instead, she would go to the library and study there. Eventually, she worked so hard that she got a job abroad as a secretary. She went on to work there as well. She even married a boy who was so in love with her that he followed her abroad as well. Even after marriage, the couple would save money by eating a roll and one Pepsi.
Like this, she accomplished her dream when she bought her own home, and she had a family and a husband who never stopped her from doing what she wanted. The beauty with this story is that although she had her responsibilities toward her family, she never let them come between her and her dream. She could have taken the easy way out and settled for what she got. Instead, she proved herself by following her dream as well as taking care of her ailing mother.
What have we learned from this story?
The answer is simple- action speaks louder than words. The girl didn’t just give in to her financial situations, she wanted to come out of it, and she worked hard and accomplished it as well. She didn’t just say that she would do it. Instead, she did it without saying a word.
If you want to chase your dreams, you will have to work extremely hard. At the same time, you will also have to ensure that you do not fall back on your responsibility. As the saying goes, where there is a will, there is a way. This comes to the next point in this section.
How does family loyalty affect professional success?
Being loyal to your family does not mean that you have to give up on yourself. If people are going to measure your loyalty only if you do what your parents expect you to do, then you have to break free from such people. Commitment towards the family is a lot more than just doing what is told to you. It is understanding what is expected out of you while being responsible enough when you chase your dream.
You need to understand that there are many ways to show your loyalty to your family. Many times, we tend to give in to our families’ demands and live a miserable life. So many people are alive but not living their life. They have given up on their dreams and have given in to the family pressure. What is worse is that many people even hold a grudge against their family for how their life is going.
Remember, you have a choice; it is your choice to give in to the pressure or not. Now, if you feel by giving up your dreams will prove your loyalty to your family, then you need to sit and ponder about it.
No one can define your loyalty except you yourself. Go back to that story about the girl I told you about. She proved that her dreams were what she wanted to do; at the same time, she ensured that she showed her loyalty towards her family.
She took on every challenge that came her way and never burdened her family with her needs. Not only did she fend for her family, but she also chased her dream, took care of her ailing mother, and married the man of her dreams.
Her mother also wanted her to follow a particular path. But even with that, she worked her way out of that path. She also ventured into the one that she wanted to pursue. So with this note, let us move ahead with the last topic of this section.
How to break the barriers of family pressure for your career?
Now before I answer this question, I would like to quote – I am not saying that our parents are wrong in thinking about our well-being. Yes, they have equally sacrificed to get us to where we are today. But sometimes, we have to learn how to break the barriers of family pressure to open the doors for professional success.
Remember, things are bad until you accomplish what you want. There is nothing better than to see our parents smile and be proud of the success that we as children achieve. Sometimes the pressure and barriers that are parents set is the fear that they may have within themselves.
Since they did not get the opportunity to do something they wanted, that is why they feel that we should follow the same thing. Now, if you’re going to break the barriers of family pressure, you have to be mentally and emotionally strong. It will not be easy at all; there will also be a strain on your personal relationships. However, you need to be strong and patient. Here are a few tips that you can follow while breaking the family pressure barriers for your career.
- Do not give in to pressure as much as it may frustrate you.
- If you want to achieve something, you will have to learn how to let go of negative emotions.
- Take a stand for the things you believe in, it will not be easy, but it will be worthwhile in the long run.
- Make your parents understand without fighting or shouting at them.
- Communication is the key element here, and you have to learn how to communicate appropriately.
- No matter how hard the path may be, do not give up.
- Keeping on moving ahead, overcome each challenge and obstacle with a calm mind.
- Learn to say NO to things that do not seem right.
- Follow your instincts as they will guide you properly
- Learn how to balance your dreams and responsibilities, especially when you want to achieve your goal.
With these tips, I would like to move on to the next section of this course. In this section, I will cover a few aspects of how to deal with personal issues that can affect your career. Before I move ahead, I would request you first to note down things that are affecting your professional life. These are things that can include any childhood trauma, life-changing events, or even your personal thoughts about how you look at yourself, even if it means words like the feeling of being worthless, unhappy, and so on. I want you to divide the page into three sections.
- The first, your negative thoughts
- The Second, events in the past that changed your life
- Lastly, childhood traumas that have resulted in where you stand today.
On this note, I will move to the third section of this course.